Crying on the Streets

It's funny how New Yorkers are so different from Westerners.
Every time I am in a store and the cashier is rude I think, if you were in Idaho you would be fired.
Every time I see someone doing something out of the norm on the streets I think, why is nobody staring at them.
Every time I walk past a person I think, it's weird that people try to avoid eye contact.
New York is different. New York is unique. Some days I think I love the way of life here. Some days I crave the way of the West.
I was told that you could start crying anywhere in the city and people wouldn't give you the time of day. This is true...I experienced this myself.
I knew before I came here I would have moments of difficulty, loneliness, confusion, and growth. Even though you learn from each of these things it is still hard to deal with. The other day I had to make a decision. It wasn't a decision that would change my life, but non-the-less it was a decision and I do not like making decisions (side note: this is one of the things I discovered about myself while being in NY). When I had to make this decision I was in Soho--a very crowded place. I was walking on the sidewalk while talking to my mom about it when I couldn't hold it in any longer. I just started crying. At first I was embarrassed but then I realized nobody was looking at me. It didn't even phase anyone that I was leaning up against a building crying. I wasn't sure if I should be bothered by this, or thankful.
Later I was thinking about this. How many times a day does the average person walk my someone who is hurting? How many times could the average person make someone feel better my just smiling at them? Why do people become so self-absorbed and not care about others?
I know that there are a lot of people in NYC, so you can't smile at everyone. I also realize that safety matters so you have to be careful who you smile at or say hi too. But every now and then it wouldn't hurt to be friendly to someone.
The longer I have been here the more New Yorkish I become. But I am still trying hard to be friendly to that mean cashier or share a smile to a random person. It's important to me to share the love. :)