Dadisms

Since Tara and I were not able to spend Father's Day with our Dad this year we decided to act like him. We would hug each other the way he hugs us, we would say the funny little sayings he says, and would just overall interact with each other the way he would interact with us. This brought us much laughter as we remembered these sweet memories of our dad.

Dad I am truly blessed to have you as a father. I am proud to call you dad. Here are some reasons why you are an amazing dad.

1) Dad you have shared your values with me. I know what’s important to you and where your priorities lie, what you stand for and truly believe.
(2) Dad you have shared how you live your life by biblical principles. Even when life will throw me obstacles in my pathway, I know God’s ways and God’s Word when making tough, crucial decisions because of what you have taught me.
(3) Dad you have shared moments of laughter and fun with me. You are fun to be with and know how to make me laugh. I will never forget our trip to McCall together. The story of “Rock” will always be a fond story—and I just may tell my children that story some day. You have also taught me Christianity is something to be enjoyed, not endured.
(4) Dad you have shared with me the finer interests of life. Instead of condemning my music, dress, TV shows and Internet use, you introduced better alternatives. Even though I wasn’t always fond of this growing up, I am thankful for it now.
(5) Dad you have always told me how valuable I am to you. I never went a day where I didn’t feel loved and treasured by you.

I couldn’t have asked for a better Dad—So thank you!!
Happy Father's Day Daddy!

The Love of Christ

Lately I have been on such a high. Nothing seemed to really bother me or put me in a bad mood.

But yesterday was different.

Yesterday was tough.

Yesterday I woke up feeling tired, lonely, and irritable.

As I left for church I didn't really want to go. I didn't feel like trying to find someone to sit with or try to be talkative to a bunch of people I didn't know. My heart felt full--full of heavy rocks that were weighing me down. However, I knew that church was the perfect place to go to empty out the rocks in my heart. So I went.

I always take the F train to church. The F is usually Full, Familiar, and Fast (this is a little activity my sister and I do. We gave each train a few names that describe them using words with the same letter of that train. Another Ex: R train - Ridiculous, Raunchy, un-Reliable.) Anyways, I didn't realize this usually very Faithful F train was running on the A line this weekend. As soon as I got on I realized my stop was not on the reader board. I decided to ride it for a little bit but I had no clue where I was going which made me nervous. Since the train system is underground phones do not work. In this case, I had to get off of the train and out of the station so I could reach cell-phone service. I called Tara and she figured out what I needed to do. At this point, I was going to be about 45 minutes late for church. Sigh...I contemplated whether or not to just go home.

But I kept dragging my feet and went to church.

I tried to sneak through the front doors of the church without being seen. But that didn't happen. The greeter caught me trying to be sneaky and called me out on it. He hugged me, kissed my cheek, and told me that he was so happy I came back. He said, "You found a home!!" This brought a smile to my face.

I continued walking through the church and up a couple flights of stairs to the sanctuary. Before I approached the sanctuary I was hoping I would find my family sitting in there. I was thinking how nice it would be to comfortably go plop down beside one of them. I was wishing that I could look down the pew and make eye contact and whisper a little "hi" to each family member just like I would normally do on a Sunday at home. I was dreaming that I would be able to hold my little niece and nephews in my lap. But when I walked through the doors I didn't know who to sit with.

So I sat alone.

The pastor was preaching about the love of Christ and how society sometimes misunderstands the real meaning of love. Christ's love is sacrificial, unconditional, undeserving. We too should love how Christ loves. He gave the congregation a moment to "spread the love" to the people sitting around us. I didn't move. I was already trying not to cry throughout the service so I didn't want any attention. I decided to close my eyes and pretend I was invisible. As I was pretending to me invisible I felt a large hand on my shoulder. I wasn't sure if I should ignore the person or look up at them. I ignored him for a quick second and decided to look up once he removed his hand. His eyes were kind, and non-judgmental. I felt Christ's love.

Soon after everyone "spread the love" we began singing. I do not even remember what song we sang. All I remember is finding my self crying. Crying hard. I didn't want to draw attention to myself but there was no escaping it. I was a blubbery mess. The man who earlier placed his hand on my shoulder came up beside me and handed me a Kleenex. I was embarrassed but thankful.

This church is small so I am sure many saw me crying. I was tempted to leave church early so I would not have to talk to anyone. But I stayed, even though I did not want too. Once church let out the pastor headed to the back of the church to greet everyone. He was kind and wanted to know more about me. He too invited me to call this church my home.

Walking home from church I still felt a little sad. I wanted to talk to someone. My family and some of my friends back home were all still in church and Lindsay was working. I decided to try to call Lindsay anyway, hoping she would be on her break. She was. It was perfect. Thank you God for giving me Lindsay.

Even though yesterday was hard, I was constantly reminded of Christ's love.

Painting LOVE on the wall

Tara and I have been joking that she will bring home the bacon and I will cook the bacon. My original plan was to either have a live-in nanny position or get a place of my own. Sometimes things do not go according to plan. I had a job but was soon "let go" because the family found someone that could commit to them for at least a year rather than just a couple months. Though I understood this was best for their adorable little one I was bummed. They were really nice about it and asked if I would still be willing watch their little girl for date nights, ect. because their little girl really liked me. Deep inside I am hoping their girl hates the new nanny...and will want me back. Is that wrong?? :) Anyways so I am living the unemployed life. I do a lot of exploring, going to interviews, meeting Tara for lunch, hanging out with Tara's friends, cleaning the apartment, and sometimes try to have dinner ready. Well Tara told me that she would pay me if I would deep clean her apartment, finish painting her apartment, and clean the bathroom she shares with another person next door. I kind of feel funny taking money from my sister especially when she is letting me live with her right now, but I took the offer. So, today I cleaned, painted, cleaned, painted, cleaned, and painted some more. Even though, some of my plans here have not turned out like I wanted them to I am still loving it.
I love the feeling of independence.
I love the feeling of being somewhere new.
I love the time I have been able to spend with my sister.
I love that I can sit in coffee shops for hours and people watch.
I love the different cultures.
I love the food.
I love the new opportunities I have.
I love all the walking I do.
I love how everyday I discover something new about myself.
I love how everyday I discover something new about the city.
I love that I am here.

A place of Worship

On Sunday I finally attended a church here in NY. I do not know why it took me so long to finally go because attending church always rejuvenates my spirit. And there is nothing better than worshiping with a church family. Man am I thankful I did go. God was present--I could feel it.

When I arrived outside the sanctuary doors I was greeted by a lady named D. D was warm and inviting. She began asking me questions and telling me about herself. As she was talking I was smiling to myself because prior to my arrival in NY my mom's boss' friend had been in contact with D about me. D was asked to take me somewhat under her 'wing' (to make me my mom feel better about having me live in a city with no experience whatsoever). D also invited me to help volunteer with an organization called Gifted Hands. I had the opportunity to go a home care facility for people with HIV/AIDS and participate in arts and crafts with them. It was a time where we could just love on 'em.

I also met another lady named C who lives in both Boise and NY (I think). How often to you find someone in NY that has a home in Boise??? Umm...Not very often. C works at the Disney's New Amsterdam Theater in Times Square. She asked me if needed a job because the theater needs more ushers. As of right now I do not have a job so this was a praise.

There was also a missionary from Africa that spoke. She mentioned the places she lived in Africa and I realized a good friend of mine use to live there (thats you Kels :)) After the service I asked her if she knew my friends...and she did. I just thought that was neat.

I left church that day with a full heart.

Discovering ME...in New York City

Sometimes people get stuck in a rut. The type of run that consumes your life and you can't find the end of the tunnel. This last school year I felt like I was in a rut. I lost the purpose in my life. My relationship with God became stagnant, I wasn't interested in my major anymore, and I hardly ever felt at peace about anything. I felt like complaining more often than rejoicing. I would try to change my attitude but I kept falling deeper and deeper into a rut. One thing kept me going...CHANGE was coming. I was going to live in NYC for the summer to nanny. Before I came I spent a lot of time in prayer. I was scared. I knew I would be put in situations that I have never been in before. I have never been far away from home for more than a couple weeks. I would have to find a new summer church family. I would have to be extra responsible financially. I would have to make decisions that I wouldn't later regret. I was going to have to learn to become independent. I was going to grow--and sometimes growing is painful.
Now that I am here I am not only finding things out about myself, but fear doesn't seem to have such a strong hold on my life anymore. I feel like I am free to do anything--and I will succeed at it. I feel like I am Discovering ME. And I like it. As I continue my summer here I want to continue to Discover ME. I want to Discover who I am in Christ. Discover the way I want to live. Discover my strengths, my weaknesses. Discover my passions, and the things I am not so passionate about. I want to discover that fear doesn't have to hold me back. Discover that I can overcome my insecurities. I want to discover that I can do whatever I want to do and be whatever I want to be. I want to Discover ME.